I Love You. I Love You (not too but)… Much More than You Love Me

via lobobear.com

Two hearts beat together. Man and woman conveyed their feelings towards each other. A mutual relationship was born. How did it work for almost six years? There was a year that they never had communication. They didn’t see each other for quite a long time. What else is there to look forward to? Her mind said “It’s enough” but her heart was not giving up. No matter how dim the light of hope could have been, she didn’t let it die out.

It must have been true love because no matter how hard it was, she had let him go. But she really loved him and she’s still in love with him. She had suffered but still willing to go through it again. But how far can she go for love when she knew it has all been ended?

One cannot love and be wise. She could have found the failure at the beginning but she was locked in and didn’t manage to pull enough bravery out of her foolishness. She fell head over heels in love and the love found all its way for her and him to be together though obviously to them it’s not long enough.

How long is not long enough? One year? Two years? Six years? It’s all been said and done. She said goodbye in every word and shut it off without him answering back because she knew he won’t let go. He didn’t want it to end. He loved her and still in love with her. He searched for her and waited and still willing to go through it again just to win her back.

Right up to this moment, she still loves him, he still loves her. But they realized it’s over mutuality now. In one way or another someone must have gone farther and further in the relationship. One must have given more than what the other gave. She has been more loving, more understanding, more trusting. Before it was only justice but now it’s love above the foundation of justice.

All the past years, when he says, “I love you”, she answers back “I love you too.” But the relationship has grown because one of them exceeded the love they expected from one another. So now, every time he express his love for her she would always answer back “I love you more”.


Giving up and Never Give Up

This is it! I said it once, I said it twice. I thought it once, twice and ten times. And it’s enough. I knew I couldn’t make it there yet. But sooner or later, I’ll reach the end. However difficult the journey, I know I am strong to get through it. There may be times that I want to give up, but I gave up to something revealing. I give up not because I am weak but only to submit to the reality of the present; I’m quite sure I am sheltered, protected not to wither.

I can’t change how things are today. But I know I can change what’s within me now. It’s yet too much a struggle, because in life everyday is a test. I failed today. But I will surely prepare for the next. I’m sure I’ll get better.


After days of deep thinking and realization, I think it’s time for me to make a conviction to let go and let live yet I know it takes a lot of courage to start with. I’ve been to so much pain and fear and it stabbed me so much that caused me to hold enough distress and I know it wouldn’t be as easy as saying it. I know it wouldn’t be easy to heal it. But I have to hold on to that word “courage” — to condition my whole self to face all the fears, sleepless nights, depression, insanities. I have to give myself a chance, to give more to myself, to think more of myself. I have to do it myself, I have to start everything with God’s help. There will never be “but(s)”, “what if(s)”, “if only(s)”. I couldn’t control time. Past is past. I have to move on. Yes I’m sure the feeling of love will stay forever but feelings is not enough; living that love is essential over time.

Dear Lord

I thank You for all of me: my heart, my mind and my soul,

For molding me into a person I am today,

For having a family who’s loving, affectionate and understanding,

For kind friends and relatives whose support is unwavering.

I thank you for people I’ve known for long as friends but have forgotten me,

those I just met but offered and shared their friendship,

and to those who caused me hurt and disserted me.

I ask for Your forgiveness for the things I’ve committed that caused You so much pain,

and help me to forgive myself so I could start over again

with a heart full only with love and sympathy to others.

As a mother, I will always be grateful for this gift,

to bear a life so beautiful and entrusted him to my care.

You are my Only witness to the struggles I’ve been through,

Though people misjudged me, You gave me strength to carry on.

I ask You Dear Lord, to strengthen me more,

heart, body and soul.

I know I am Your best choice

and I want to be the best mom You want me to be.

Please give me enough courage to stand with what I believe

is Your will and best for me and my son.

Teach me to be more patient and how to control my temper.

While I’m away from Xam, please look after him for me.

Please look after my parents as well whose love for Xam

is twice as much as my love for him.

Take us away from any danger, illness and sin

and protect us from the discrimating society that we live in.

I will always try my best to be of good service to You

as I go on with my daily activities.

Please don’t forget me even if at times I forget You during the day.

If I do, please help me remind me of You


Being a Hotelier: Working with “The Team”

With 36 colleagues(and counting) of 19 different nationalities in the team is definitely something. We’ve got Indians, Filipinos, Serbian, Japanese, Mauritian, South African, Russian, Emarati (UAE local), Romanian, Chinese, French, Jordanian, Mexican, Egyptian, Lebanese, Pakistani, German and Dutch (did I forget one?.. oopps! I’ll try to remember).

Team Building September 2011

For me it is something because I don’t only get to know each of their cultural backgrounds but also I was able to adapt to such a multi-cultural environment, getting along with people who has different lifestyles and different working attitudes, though of course it’s quite normal when we collide at times especially when it comes to grips. I was also able to know myself more through our daily connections at work or during our bonding times – team buildings or a simple get-together. I have also noticed a lot of changes in me. Coming from a non-English speaking country, I was a late-bloomer but I didn’t had to strike it hard to get used to my new environment. Funny as it may seem but I am clueless of where my self-confidence is coming from. But I realized my colleagues played a great part of helping me bring it out.

I was just asked lately how I’m coping up with work and the team. I have a lot to say about the job, the department, to each colleague in the team, but the most important thing at the end of the day is my relationship with the people I work with. I value this special connection that I have with them as it helps me grow up as an individual and as a professional. I respect our individuality and as I try to be the person that I am when I’m with them, I feel that I’m also responsible with my actions affecting the people around me and that I have to be sensitive and consider our differences per se.

Sounds a drama, but it’s true. Live and let live.