After days of deep thinking and realization, I think it’s time for me to make a conviction to let go and let live yet I know it takes a lot of courage to start with. I’ve been to so much pain and fear and it stabbed me so much that caused me to hold enough distress and I know it wouldn’t be as easy as saying it. I know it wouldn’t be easy to heal it. But I have to hold on to that word “courage” — to condition my whole self to face all the fears, sleepless nights, depression, insanities. I have to give myself a chance, to give more to myself, to think more of myself. I have to do it myself, I have to start everything with God’s help. There will never be “but(s)”, “what if(s)”, “if only(s)”. I couldn’t control time. Past is past. I have to move on. Yes I’m sure the feeling of love will stay forever but feelings is not enough; living that love is essential over time.